Why being yourself will get you more business. Plus how to do it

I was chatting to a guy on a dating app the other day. I thought things were going well. We’d sent a few messages back and forth, we had a few things in common and he made me laugh.

So, one evening, a few days into our chat, I fired off what I thought was an interesting, and rather witty, message. And I don’t mind telling you I felt quite smug about it.

When I checked the app the following day, he had deleted his account.

Not just ended the chat. Deleted his whole account. (Yes, this particular app tells you when they’ve done that.)

I took this to mean one thing. He read my message and thought Screw this, I’d rather die alone.

Now, younger me would have agonised over whether I’d offended him. Perhaps my joke wasn’t funny, maybe I’m just not funny. Oh my God, does everyone think this about me? Does everyone secretly hate me, and shouldn’t I just go and live under a rock somewhere…?

Thankfully, older me is much more secure than younger me, so I didn’t think any of those things (not for long anyway).

I also know that pretending to be someone I’m not would only get me empty relationships and wasted time. And that’s not what I’m here for.

It’s the same in marketing.

No, really.

Playing it safe doesn’t just mean attracting the wrong people (whether that’s people who don’t value what you do, or those who engage in a long, drawn-out sales process before realising you’re not for them).

It also means that the people who are looking for you completely fail to spot you.

Because you are hiding, whether you mean to or not.

But don’t worry, I’m not about to bang on about how you just need to be yourself. Instead, I’ll give you some practical steps on how to do it.

First: Get clear on what you stand for.

This doesn’t have to be fluffy, and you don’t have to be saving koala bears. You just need to know why you do things the way you do them.

If you’re a photographer, maybe you really take the time to help people to relax first, because you know this will bring the best out of them. This tells me you’ll be kind and compassionate on a shoot.

If you’re a VA, maybe you get a kick out of helping your clients excel, so you always make suggestions if you can see how something could be more efficient. This tells me you’ll care about my business almost as much as I do.

As for me, I’m a copywriter, but I’m not just here to sell stuff (although there is that). I genuinely love helping people communicate and connect. This means that when you work with me, I listen to you, so I can create something that helps you feel seen and understood.

The thing you care about is the reason you do things the specific way you do them. That’s what you stand for. Make sure it’s part of your brand identity.

Second: your brand personality and voice.

When you show up on social media, your website, or in your newsletters, how do you talk? What kind of language do you use? Are you playful or serious? Are you warm or blunt? Are you loud and brash, or gentle and modest?

The way you talk will have an impact on how your audience feels when they read your words.

So, ask yourself: if my brand were a person, how would people feel around them? How do I want people to feel around them?

Both of these things will contribute to the kinds of people who resonate with what you put out there, and therefore the leads you get, and the kind of people you end up working with.

There are lots of other things too, of course, but I can’t give away all my gold in one blog.

I will say though, when I work with you on your Brand Story Messaging Framework, we spend a day together bringing all this stuff to life. At the end of it, you get a framework outlining who you are, what you stand for, who you help, how you do it, and why people should pick you.

Use that to inform all your marketing, and your ideal clients will see and hear you loud and clear. While those people who aren’t right for you will filter you out before wasting anyone’s time (extra points if you can make someone delete their LinkedIn account).

There’s lots more info on my Brand Story Framework here in case that’s of interest.

But whatever you do, be yourself, and the right people will find you.

Meanwhile, I’ve got some swiping to do...

TTFN x

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